Sinnamon Love's Online Journal

This is where you will be able to read all my personal entries on my online diary, so you can see what has been going on in my life and what I have been up to.

Blog 201: In love with I
The last few days have been... enlighting.

My new young friend, (I hesitate to call him my boy toy as I know how he feels about being called a boy...) stopped by last night to attend a private party for Vitamin Water at the Standard Hotel. I was still entertaining a young starlet when he arrived - so by the time we pulled into valet the party had already ended.

Instead we stepped into the hotel's diner for a late night snack, (Crab and Artichoke cakes to start, grilled chedder and tomato on sourdough, Warm chocolate cake with ice cream for him and creme brulee' for me.) The bar had already closed so we drank a bottle of water, (the Standard uses old clear wine bottles for water at each table instead of carafes or pitchers...) and engaged in a bit of conversation. The food was as always, delicious.

Some annoying little bug sitting at the table behind him kept trying to get my attention - as if my date with his skinny jeans and cream/ tangerine plaid cowboy shirt weren't enough for me and his baggy jeans and t-shirt would make me want to disrespect the man I came with and give him my number. It was at that moment that I really started looking at the man in front of me for the first time. I stared at him and realized that I was being unfair. Here I am, playing with him as if he were a toy... Not acknowledging that he really is a man - and giving him the credit for being such. I haven't dated a 24 year old since I was 16... so this is completely new for me. I require something more from my men. I am inherently submissive to my mates, and I just couldn't see being that way with this one due to his age.

That's so unfair. :-)

So I decided to give him a fair shot... to treat him as an equal, like any other man I would encounter. He is just so open to everything... like its all a learning experience for him. I find his enthusiasm both distracting and exciting. On our way back to my place, I turned to him grabbing his chin and kissing him... He bit my lower lip, I sucked on his, we touched each other's faces... then realized the light was green. We retired to my place, and did as adults do... leaving small scratches just above my left knee from the carpet in my living room. The first go round was quick... leaving a heavy stream dripping down the small of my back towards my neck as I lie chest pressed against the floor and ass high in the air. Left over remnants from our encounter the other night... After a warm towel and a bit of coaxing, I found myself using him for my own carnal pleasures, ejaculating over and over again soaking him, the sofa cushions and very possibly, the floor... He was, receptive. With the tiniest bit of spit I encouraged him to enter me from behind and began coaching, as promised, so he could learn to enjoy The Art of Consensual Sodomy as much as I do. My orgasms erupted, we both collapsed, and I gave him reprieve - knowing that he had a scene early in the morning.

I escaped to the restroom for a warm towel and upon my return I found him stretched out, snoring on my sofa. I looked at him and decided that I wouldn't kick him out and force him to make the 45 minute drive back to his place. I woke him gently, inviting him to my bed... only to find myself rather comfortable with his presence. Normally, I can't sleep with anyone in my bed except my man, (and 2 other individuals over the last few years.) Perhaps it was sheer exhaustion from so much work lately or maybe it was having been thoroughly worked over by this strapping young lad next to me, but he wrapped his arms around me, slid his cock in between my legs and pulled me close... and I drifted off to sleep.

I awoke in the morning, turned off the alarm and turned to find him pitching a tent next to me. I smiled... "if he didn't have to work today," I thought. He struggled awake, gathered his clothes from the living room floor, kissed me and headed out. He made it half way to the elevator and turned around.

"I forgot something."

He gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"Have a great scene today."
"Oh for sure."

He gave me the thumbs up and disappeared into the elevator. Once again I saw him as being so very young... ;-)

I climbed back in bed for a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. My stylist, Terrell, arrived at my place at 9:30a. I desperately needed my hair color touched up. I'm so spoiled... Terrell is the only person I trust with my hair.. After he moved to NYC I would fly to Manhattan just to have him do my hair.

Terrell touched up my color, pressed my hair and made my fabulous again. We arranged another appointment for Tuesday, as I am dying to get my hair trimmed and have extensions put in for a few months. My hair is growing so fast... but I need to not have to deal with it for awhile. After he left, I began my day... shower, errands, bills, shopping - I bought 2 pair of shoes and a couple of pieces of lingerie. I grabbed a bite to eat at this little Mexi-Cali place, chatted with my mom on the phone for an hour or so, then made my way home. LT, this director from Elegant Angel, called to cancel a shoot he just booked yesterday for next Friday...

Settled in back at my place, I decided that a cat nap was truly in order. Hanging out with someone so young (and fullof energy,) has its detriments. I laid down at 6pm and woke at 10:30 with 2 text messages and one missed call.

The first was from my new friend...

"Wake up... I want to tell you goodnite."

So cute. The other was from another suitor.

I replied to both before climbing out of bed and just as I was sitting up my phone rang.


I smiled. Tony is a really, really good friend of mine... a former lover that married a few years ago that to this day I love dearly. He was going to a bar near my place with a friend and invited me to join them. I promised to toss on a pair of jeans and head over. Instead, I found myself back in the shower followed by makeup and hair. I slipped on a brown bra and panty set then a coral and brown wrap dress I purchased a few days ago and a pair of brown patent leather peak toe pumps I bought earlier today. I added a gorgeous piece of rose quartz to my neck and headed out the door. The bar was just in Little Tokyo, so I grabbed a cab knowing I would be drinking.

Once at the Weyland Brewery, it took me a minute to find my ID. I did, then set about to find Tony and friend. I did, and we hugged over and over again as old friends do. :-)

"I don't know why I said I would throw on some jeans. You know me, I'm a woman. Since when have I ever just 'thrown on some jeans?' "

Tony laughed and agreed and introduced me to his friend. We caught up, I shared photos of the kids, he showed off his wedding band, his friend said he had the perfect drink for me.

*I love a confident man.*

The waitress arrived with a cantaloupe martini for me and a new round for the guys. I was duly impressed by the drink choice made by this gent I barely knew. While I could have gone for a mojito, or a jack and coke, I suppose at that moment I did look like I should be drinking a martini. LoL!

We talked about my current dating status, the Man back East that I love with everything I have, myLove, the young one, and every one else in between. We talked about my kids, his marriage and shared stories of the "Black Heidi" days. Tony always makes me smile... I came to realize that for the first time in a long time, I'm really happy.


I'm happy.

My life isn't perfect, but despite all the wild obnoxious people that I encounter I am having a great life. I love my family, my friends, I have great kids, a comfortable life and people that love me in return. My Loves are many, and my disdains are few. I could be a better woman if I only could learn to slow down...

I don't think anyone could love themselves more... and that makes me happy.

I'm off to bed... its going to be a beautiful day out tomorrow. I think I want to go to the LA Times Festival of Books at UCLA. I believe Don Cheadle is speaking on the crisis in Darfur. :) Intelligence and Self-Awareness is so sexy.

~*~ Sinny ~*~
Blog 200: Work, Friends, Work, Dinner, Recipe, Photos, Work, Sex, Work & My Hot Neighbor
*Note: The pics in this blog aren't showing up due to scheduled maintenance on Photobucket. Be sure to check back later to get the full effect of this blog! But leave me 2 Kudos for effort! :) ~ Sinny - Thursday, April 26 12:27am

I have been so incredibly busy the last few days... Its been a non-stop work-a-thon, and I'm not quite done yet. :)


I hopped over Santa Monica to record an interview for 89.7 FM. It was fun to play... Leighanne, (the host,) had myself and a pinup retro goth chick on for a game of "Real or No Real" with 3 guys. The guys had to guess whether our boobs were real or not by copping a quick feel blindfolded. All 3 guys got mine wrong! They all thought my boobs were real and the other 2 women, who were real, were fake! ;-)

Friday Night
Good Time Girl, Tina and one of her friends Tracie called from dinner at Zip Fushion in Little Tokyo and dragged me out of the house. Tina is finally of the road with The Roots (she's their road manager,) and lives nearby in Silverlake, while Tracie lives even closer in Echo Park. We went back to Tracie's and hung out... drank some wine, had some Mango con Chile and just vibed out... listening to a little music. Its nice to enjoy the time of women from time to time... the energy that is shared between likeminded women is a beautiful thing. Irony would have it that Tracie is the operations manager for the company I purchased almost all my furniture from. :) Hanging out with the girls inspired me to have a little get together of my own... Dinner, Drinks, Good Company - Always a great combination.

My driver Karim picked me up at 8am and we drove down to Anaheim for a first time shoot for this farting fetish video company. I shot 12 video clips in about 4 hours, (an hour longer than anticipated as I had a harder time making it "work" than I thought I would. I won't go into the movie magic of how this normally natural body function was enhanced to make video possible... but it was fun and hilarious to do. :)

Sunday Night

I prepared a nice little dinner for a few friends... Champagne Risotto with Jumbo Pan Seared Scallops and my Asian Pear and Avocado Salad with Garam Masala Syrup. Akilah and Jeff stopped by with a bottle of Reisling and Tina stopped by with a Chardonnay... I fed my friends, played some music, enjoyed each other's company... its was just what I needed - a little grown up time.

Here are a few recipes to inspire you:


Jumbo Pan Seared Scallops:

1 pound of Jumbo Scallops (Approximately 12 pieces)
2 tbsp of scampi garlic butter (plain or other seasoned butter is fine.)

Melt 2 tablespoons of butter in a heated pan on high heat. Add Scallops and saute on medium high heat for 5-8 minutes each side. Remove from heat and drain.

Champagne Risotto:

2 tbsps (1/4 stick) butter
1/4 cup chopped green onions
2/3 cup arborio rice or medium grain white rice
1 cup dry Champagne
1 14 1/2 oz. can (or more) low-salt chicken broth
1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Melt butter in heavy saucepan over mediu heat. Add onions; saute' 1 minute. Add rice; saute' 2 minutes. Add Champagne; simmer until almost all liquid evaporates, stirring often, about 2 minutes. Add 1 can brothe; simmer until rice is almost tender, stirring often, about 15 minutes. simmer until rice is tender but still firm to bite and mixture is creamy, adding more broth if too thick and stirring often, about 5 minutes. Stir in Parmesan. Season with salt and pepper.

Serves 2.



I had to go in to AIM to test, then had to scurry back to my place for a photo shoot with my Steen. She always makes me look beautiful, and up until recently all her time had been captured by a site that she was working with. Steen brought Gwen and Mark along for a 4 way trade. We shot 4 gorgeous photo sets with video on 3 of the sets. The photos will eventually wind up on My Site, Steen's Site, along with Gwen and Mark's sites. :)

I love latex and don't get to shoot nearly enough of it. I loved the feel of the latex and the hoods had an effect I didn't expect. :) One of the hoods, black and cream with painted closed lips and pin curls at the crown of the head... it was so gorgeous! I kindagot an idea of what it would be like if I ever went bald. hehehe! One of the sets was shot in the shower and I must admit, I didn't expect the latex to feel so yummy in water!!

Check out these samples from the shoot!

a late call time for Julie Simone. On my way to the location, I had an interesting conversation with this hot 24 year old that I met on set. He asked how was my day, what I was up to later, and mentioned that he kept thinking of me since he came over last week. He's sexy... if only he was a few years older. ;-) He asked me to call him when I finished work.. he's one of those guys, sweet, a hopeless romantic, and definitely my type. Too bad...

I shot a hot lesbian scene with Zenova Braden.. a bit challenging because of our positioning, but it was amazing nonetheless. :) We ended late, I got home and had to literally force myself to go to the gym. I was exhausted... but managed to pull off my hour long run, crunches and reverse bends.

Before leaving the gym, I ran into one of my neighbors, Nikoma Lee.

Her key wasn't working and she was waiting for her boyfriend to come by with her spare key... so I volunteered my place for her to wait. ;-) Nikoma came up and we found that we have a lot in common... she's sexy, and it was cool to finally get to know the girl that I pass in the elevator all the time.

Shortly after we got upstairs, Ethan stopped by from seeing his boy perform at Element. The 3 of us hung out for a bit until Nikoma finally got her bf on the phone, then Ethan and I got close... After a bit, his sidekick started going off like crazy... He tried to be discreet but I noticed the name of the girl on the screen. Not his recent ex-girlfriend, but another female talent that I've heard he has dabbled with periodically.

He started preparing to go...

"I should go, I kow you have to work early tomorrow."

I laughed, "I'm a woman, I don't have to hold off on sex before a scene like a man."

He sat back down.
We kissed, caressed, made out like teenagers. (I guess at 24 he is barely legal.) We stood up to hug and our bodies moved together in one accord. I enjoyed toying with him, and when his sidekick went off yet again, I thought it only fair to lay it on the line.

"You should understand something about me. I don't fuck talent. I don't fuck the help. I know you didn't just come over here at 1am to say hello, but I notice your sidekick is going off non-stop, so if you have more important things to do, by all means. Enjoy your night... But just keep in mind, you aren't going to satisfy your desire for me by running over there."

"Why don't you fuck talent?" he queried.

"Because I don't take my work home with me. I don't work everyday like some people, so that keeps me out of the mainstream talent pool and reduces my health risks. If I'm fucking some guy that works everyday I may as well be doing it too as my dealing with him increases my personal risk. That's not fly."

"I understand..."

He put his phone down and kissed me then sat back down on my sofa. I straddled him, moved my shorts to the side and lowered onto his member. We moved swiftly, passionately in and out of orgasm until we were locked in a gaze pulling each other's hair in a fervored heat. After a while, we moved to my bedroom. He is a good lover for someone so young. I can only imagine what he'll be like when he is much older... He reminds me of my first Love, Lawrence and one of my favorite lovers, Dale. He is agressive, sensitive, passionate, romantic, and eager to learn and experience. I knew... he wanted to stay, so why let him have something less than me when I was right there?

I have to be careful, I could easily keep this one but I know I would pervert his mind. Even Nikoma, who barely knows me said, "Don't hurt him." Lol! As if! He's apparantly into a lot of the same deviant things I am into..

Omigod, I just realized something... I am turning into one of those women. You know, the middle aged, divorcee, single moms with the significant other that is always away on business and the hot young boy toy that keeps her bed warm and inites passion in her... Not that myLove doesn't do it for me... HE DOES! But I'm starting to realize that my drive has increased by leaps and bounds since I turned 30. I NEED MORE. I'm my new hero. I'm the desperate housewife on my block. :) I'm Stacy's Mom. :)


The boy toy left at 4:30a and stopped by his other friend's place on his way home. (He claims he told her he didn't want to "hump" and that he was good.... that he was glad he stayed because he wouldn't have been so sated had he had sex with her when he really wanted me... (Good boy.) I power napped, then awakened at 7:30a to shower, dress and pack in time for my driver to arrive to take me to work. I received a call en route that Olivia was not going to make it to set. Expecting the scene to be changed altogether, I settled in to text myLove about last night... He's my inspiration. :)

I stopped to grab some Today sponges for the shoot, (standard issue for sex on your period,) the pulled into the driveway at Red Light District a bit early for my scene in "What a Booty 2." The makeup artist made me fabulous, I did all my paperwork in Mr. Pete's office, then we went to location. He had replaced Olivia with a last minute stand-in, Raven Sky. She is a cute, 19 year old Black girl with blonde hair and great natural tits and an unbelievable ass. She lost her virginity on camera last year or Evasive Angles in a scene with T.T. Boy. She's quiet, but once the camera turns on, she is all about it. Pete wrapped his belt around her neck to choke her while banging her... We moved through several positions fairly quickly, including 2 positions "A" for me. :-) Pete manipulated my G-Spot and I squirted everywhere... before sliding straight into my rear - no lube necessary. :-D

I arrived home at 4:30p, and laid down for a nice long nap. Around 6p I received a calls, then went back to bed until I woke at 8pm. I made myself get up, ate some cold veggie pizza, drank a bottle of water and began going through emails and catching up on computer stuff. :-)

Nikoma just called... I'm heading downstairs to her place for a bit before going back to bed. Xavier, my agent, will be here at 9am to take me on "Go See's" to a few companies. I'm too exhausted to run tonight... I need to wait until tomorrow morning, then it will actually benefit and not harm me.

~*~ Sinn ~*~
Blog 199: Vagina Power and Penis Addiction
Alexyss K Taylor is my new Hero. :)

Atlanta Public Access TV9 superstar Alexyss K. Tylor discusses Vagina Power and Penis Power with her mother.

Lessons learned in this episode:
(Read AFTER you watch the video!)

- If you really want to earn your man, you need to learn your man.

- There's nothing wrong with liking a flashy man.

- Some women are hooked on coming.

- Some men have so much heat and intensity in their penis, you can feel it radiate through their clothes. It feels like fire underneath their skin.

- Shrimp dinner at Long John Silver's cost $2.99.

- Men who offer you "a side of penis" don't respect you.

- Don't let every man hit the bottom of your vagina and work that middle.

- Some women's mind ain't good because the penis done ejaculate all in her brain.

- Some men screw women into submission by using the penis as a weapon to break her ass down.

- When you're wide open with a penis all up in your vagina, you don't have no defenses.

- The worst thing that can happen is when a man, while he's thrusting the penis in and out, says, "Whose is it? Whose vagina is it? Who it belong to? Now, wha- wha- what I say? Who? Who?"

- Don't let every man spank your bottom and talk to you all kind of ways.

Visit Alexyss at her website:

Vagina Power

Penis Addiction

Vagina Respect

You Know I'm No Good

Blog 198: Text Me and Leave a Voice Message!
Hello All!

Want to leave me a voice message? I just added a Say Now voice player to my MySpace page. Unlike other players, you don't have to call me... simply text SinnamonLove to 729669 (SAYNOW) and we'll call you back! I'm looking forward to hearing from all my fans! Be sure to keep it clean! :-) Let's see if we can get 1000 messages this weekend!

Thanks Love,

Blog 197: One Down, Nine To Go
Feeling Fantastic!

I woke up this morning at 7:30am to go to the bathroom then went back to sleep. I was so exhausted I just couldn't stay awake! I think all the stress of the last few days was wearing me thin and I just needed to recharge. When I did, I got up and weighed myself for my cleanse journal...

134 lbs.

I prepared a pitcher of lemonade for the day, pouring half of it into a 32 oz container to take with me on my errands for the afternoon.

The rest of my day was pretty relaxed, emails, calls, a meeting in Century City, an hour long conversation with my mom... Sandee and I spoke for awhile on my way home, I love her. She's the one person that "gets" me. I remember when I met her, I was like, "Here's the one person that understands my truly submissive nature." :grin:

I will spare my readers that gory details of the elimination my body went through today... and save that for my handwritten Cleanse Journal.

I forced myself to leave the computer for a bit today and head down to the gym... No crunches today - I'll save those for tomorrow morning.

Workout Report:

60 minutes on the stationary bike = 53 laps/ 13 miles.
Burnt 465 calories.

I love working out while watching TV. I cycled throughout Grey's Anatomy. I was so thrilled to hear Amy Winehouse's "You know I'm No Good" as the opening song. I almost quit a few times, but pushed myself through it.

Day 1 Fast Report

80 oz of Master Cleanse Lemonade

I was totally tempted to cheat around 7pm... and again while I was on the bike. Sweating and burning calories was making me really hungry... and the food commercials in between segments of the show didn't help any. Fortunately, there were lots of burger commercials, stuff I don't eat anyway, so I wasn't too tempted. I convinced myself that I would drink 2 glasses of lemonade when I got upstairs for dinner.

I'm brewing my cup of tea for the night... I desperately need a shower. I'm looking forward to an uninterrupted night's sleep. And weighing in tomorrow morning for Day 2.

~*~ Sinn ~*~
Blog 196: Warrior Queen

Despite the intrusion last night in my peaceful existance I managed to have quite a productive day today...

I booked the following:

  • A Farting Fetish Video Shoot for Saturday morning (don't laugh! its serious business!) I need to clarify something... The farting fetish video is were I am being videotaped upclose passing gas in clothes and nekkid. There are also farting fetish videos were the woman is farting on a guy's face... These videos are almost always FemDom (meaning the woman is Dominant.) So no, I am NOT getting farted on forthe guy that emailed me.
  • A radio appearance on Saturday afternoon on 87.9 FM here in L.A.
  • I confirmed my appearance at Footnight LA on May 17
  • Followed by a live appearance at Dr. Susan Block's show on May 19
  • I also arranged a meeting that helps me move closer to making that line in the sand a bit deeper.
  • Made a run to Whole Foods in Glendale for supplies for this month's fast (I'm taking some medication right now that's making me a little ill.. so what better time to flush my system?
  • Heated up a quickie dinner I picked up from Whole Foods
  • Hit the gym downstairs

  • Cycled 13.2 miles in 1 hour (at level 4) on the stationary bike
  • Did 100 crunches
  • Some stretching
  • Some Conditioning moves
  • ...All while watching the 2 hour Lost episode

I have way too much energy... Right now? I'm eating a turkey sandwich (working out always makes me so H.U.N.G.R.Y.) and am watching Nightline. I am brewing myself a cup of the laxative tea that I take every night starting the night before I begin fasting. With personal stress rearing its head at a time when I need to be focused on business, fasting will certainly help clear my mind.

I am looking forward to the weekend... I have lots of calls to make, 2 meetings and a handful of errands. But you know what? I am going to make sure I work out again! :) I love how my waist is quickly tapering down. I really want to get Mesotherapy next month. I hear its A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. when it comes to dissolving fat and is a great alternative to liposuction. I hear it leaves really bad bruising for like a week, but hell, I heal quickly! ;-)

Okay.. off to stretch and finish watching Nightline... I haven't spoken on the tragedy in Virginia as I don't want to Martyr this very disturbed young man that took the lives of so many. My heart and vibrations go out to the souls of these people and for the families they leave behind.

For those that have survived I have but one thought: We are not our past. We can move past the tragedies in our lives and forge our own futures.

~*~ Sinny ~*~
Blog 195: On drawing the line in the sand
Have you ever been in an argument and wondered to yourself why you even entertain the conversation or the person you are dealing with? Often, I find myself engulfed in madness because ultimately, I AM a good person. I want to take the high road. I want to work things out amicably. I want to make it work... but there comes a time when you have to draw a line in the sand and deal with certain people at arms length.

Tonight was one of those nights. I realized that m ex-husband is and always will be one of those people that jumps to conclusions before he acts. He is one of those people easily influenced by other people - and often doesn't make the right decisions because of it. I don't mind in general. He's the "ex" for a reason. I came to grips a long time ago with the reality that he and I were like oil and water. One place I have tended to give more rope and leniancy is where my children are concerned. I'm starting to realize that as long as he continues to dwell on events of 15 years ago and conspiracy theorizes every initiated conversation we have - peace will be minimal between us.

There is much he doesn't know about me.... like how in 13 years since our seperation I have a much stronger constitution than I did before. I am even more passionate and more determined than I was back then. I used to let people dig holes for themselves.. now I hand them the shovel. I can be ruthless, but chose not to as I believe in peace and harmony. Being a yogi the last 6 years has taught me a lot. Like that I can influence the world around me without my thoughts alone... and that I don't need to raise my voice or my hand in order to achieve my goals. I have learned that turning the other cheek is not for me, but instead, when attacked, I have learned to quickly strategize in order to overturn my foe. I have learned to quietly position myself on a peak where I can observe where my enemy is moving into position.

I have always been a shrewd business woman regardless of what field I was in. When I worked for Fred Segal Shoes, I managed to get guys to purchase $1300 pair of shoes for me on the promise I'd go salsa dancing with them... and still collect the 13% commission. These days I've learned to be a bit more shrewd in my personal life as well. I refuse to let someone tell me who I should be or which set of moralistic guidelines I should live by. Whether it is some religious zealot on MySpace touting Judeo-Christian retoric or someone that barely knows me calling me a "ho" I find myself feeling both pity and indifference towrds them instead of getting riled up.

Tonight was one of those nights. I broke character when my ex's female room mate jumped at the opportunity to get on the phone with me during a conversation that had nothing to do with her. She started blabbering on about me, someone she's never met, and it soon became obvious that she must feel threatened! Lol! I'm such a ho, I' such a horrible person.... but one thing she can not deny, that I am a mother.

It always amazes me when people come with these attitudes as if as women we are supposed to cease being sexual beings just because we become mothers. Here we are, at our sexual peak and we are just supposed to give that up because we are parents. If other's chose that life, God Bless Them! For me, I believe that as long as my children are not exposed to my work or my play... why should I alter my adult play? I think of all the unhappy housewives whose husbands visit call girls for something as simply as a blow job because they can't imagine their wives kissing their children after they have committed such a vile act upon them. Our country is driven by this Madonna/ Whore complex because of guilt brought on by religious emotional oppression. Companies like Hooters play up these feelings by objectifing women in a manner that seems harmless enough, and yet still allows men to get their fix for the attainable "other woman."

Objectification is divided into "good" and "bad" depending on who's selling it and how they can market it. Its okay to tell women that their lips will be "glossy, shiny and sexy" when selling lipstick... but tell her she has a nice pair of DSL's and you have crossed the line. If you tell a woman that low rise jeans with elongate her torso and make her smallish butt appear bigger that's acceptable, but tell a woman she has a phat ass and you've crossed the line.

Well I'm here to cross the line. Fuck all the PCness...

I'm a grown woman. I don't wear makeup to the gym, I run around in sweats and a tank top with sandals almost every day. But I will put on a pair of tight jeans and a small top to show off my amazing curves and a face full of makeup with my hair down and curled to draw the attention of the man I want when I'm courting him. I love going to book stores and gallery openings and museums... but if I find a man that I like while there I will flirt with him. I once had the bartender in Miami send a drink to this guy at the of the bar a drink who happened to be on a date with another woman. I later slipped my number in his pocket... We went on a date the next night, and wound up cuddled on the sofa in his condo talking until we fell asleep. :)

I'm the type of woman that isn't afraid of my sex. I'm not afraid of being both mother and whore. Of being lover and wife. I'm not afraid of preparing breakfast for the children then going to work to shoot a physically taxing sex scene. I'm not afraid of my duality. I'm not threatened by the presence of other women around my man. I am so secure in myself, I can get into an argument on the phone, hit a button and record our conversation so you can hear just how retarded you sound later on or use it as evidence if need be.

I am proud of my renessaince woman qualities that drive men wild. I am just as proud of my ass as I am my intellect. My baby making hips are a badge of honor like my well educated brain. Why should I subdue either just because it doesn't fit someone else's idea of who I should be? I am both lioness and kitten... I will protect and love - just don't get caught at the end of my claws. Rawr!

Today is one of those days where I know I have to draw the line... I can no longer allow my passive side to let little things slide. As I sit, meditating... I am preparing for battle. I am preparing to go to war. The biggest mistake we make is letting others drag us into a war that could have been resolved with a treaty... Sometimes, we can't see the consequences of our actions for our pride. Life is takes interesting turns when we least expect it. Today is one of those days...

Today, I draw the line in the sand. He doesn't have to worry about crossing it... he already has. And the battle has begun.

~*~ Sinn ~*~
Check out this video: Trapped in the Drive Thru
Special Thanks to Terry for turning me on to this. This is the most hilarious thing I've seen in awhile!

~*~ Sinny ~*~

trapped in the drive thru

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Blog 194: I am officially... a slut
I'm done.
It's official
I'm a slut.
Not just any slut
The Slut.
I'm writing the manual as we speak.
I'm a dirty
I'm hot kitty on a rainy nite
I'm two fingers deep
knees to elbow
lips to ear
fuck me
while I
whisper in
your ear...
Play tug of war with my head
as your dicks slide in and out of my rear...
Tell him that I'm your whore
your bitch
your girl
that this ring
my neck wears
means I belong to you
Your property
Your Sinn.
Order me to try my best
to do as told
to be loaned
but never sold.
I belong to you
your property

Thank you...
You light my sky
make my moon glow
my stars shine...

I never been so in love
in lust
in awe...

You gave me the best part of you
in giving me... away
that I'm stationary.

My comfort lies in that you loaned me
you trust me
with that closest to you.

I am forever in your honor
As long as you desire
I am in your service.
You are...

~*~ Sinny ~*~
Blog 193: Butterflies in the Kitty
Waiting for my blog entry of the night to arrive at my doorstep...
House is spotless
Chocolate chip cookies in the oven
Glass of Shiraz next to my computer
About to get busy...
Blog 192: Growth
Today I came face to face with someone that I had not seen in over 8 1/2 years... And for the first time I felt extreme pity for him. This is a person that at 51 years of age, he does not exhibit any personal growth... He is the exact same person - right down to the semantics he uses in a discussion - that he was way back then. Any aggression on my part is "gangstering him." Lol! He is so wrapped up in his fantasy version of events, that reality has become eskewed.

In life, we are supposed to learn and grow and not be stifled by ghosts of the past. I can't seem to understand for the life of me how this person ever entered my life... He is the epitome of all I stand against. Argumentative, oft for no reason. Constantly stuck on rewind - unable to move forward...

The most humorous thing to me the entire night, wasn't the blatant lie that he tried to convince me was motive for his actions back then... but his seemingly disbelief that I don't "trust" that he was telling the truth. This psuedo-Rasta tried convincing me that "The police told him to do [this]" and he obeyed without fore thought. As if! I don't know ANY Black Man that doesn't something (other than get on the ground, hands behind thier head,) simply because the police told them to. *chuckle*

I suppose my blondeness is really showing if I'm supposed to fall for that line...

I am a level-headed person. But after repeating, "I don't care about what happened back then..." over 6 times (and spewing forth where my focus lies,) as he repeatedly tried to convince me that it was so important to have this conversation.. I just wanted it OVER.

You know the phrase, "forgive but never forget?"

Well for me... its more likely, "Learn from the past so you can alter your future. Never forget as that will prevent you from making or repeating mistakes. I rarely feel so offended that I feel I can't forgive. But the rare indiscretion that makes "the list" may not be forgiven, so I might have the constant reminder of how some people are not to be trusted.

For this person... My "trust" was so important... Important enough that he mentioned it numerous times in a 2 hour conversation.

When I made it clear that I could care less about the past as my future was sitting in front of me... this malignancy finally left me to enjoy the rest of my evening. I danced with my son and my youngest daughter... teaching her to move to the sounds of the mariachi band... grimaced and blushed as my oldest and her friends did a semi-provocative dance number with the birthday girl... ate some really good cake, had dinner and took lots of photos.

The night was a reminder... I have a Sweet 16 to plan - its only a year and 1 month away! ;-) Omigod.. I am SO not looking forward to that.

I realized today while looking at these beautiful children that I struggled to give life that each day they are growing up both emotionally and mentally. Hearing my son say, "Checkmate" to someone at the beginning of the night put a smile on my face. When I see the peach fuzz on my baby boy's top lip, and glimpse my oldest daughter sitting on a male friend's lap while engrossed in conversation with her friends and answering my youngest's questions about the tradition of "Quince" - I realize that for some, life will continue to grow and change and evolve. Conversely, when I listen to others rehashing conversations that are over a decade old - unable to let go it is no wonder why their lives are static.

In the last several years, I have slowly eliminated all negative energy from my life. I strive to only have people around me that are happy, healthy, loving and nuturing. Last year I had to tell a friend that while I loved her dearly, that she often brought on the majority of the strife that held her back through poor planning and flighty, often irresponsible behavior... I wasn't being mean, I was simply protecting my best asset - my energy. I love hard, work hard, play hard. I enjoy filling my head with miscellaneous bit of trivia. I love being able to provide for myself and my family in a way that I see fit. I love having a plan... even if I change the plan later to fit my changing needs.

I despise mediocrity. I value perseverance. I triumph determination. I trust myself. I distrust others. People lie. Its in their nature... But I believe, that these founding principals, birthed in a life full of experiences, have kept me grounded and free.

I hope to pass on these wisdoms to my children one day. They are pretty much on their way now...

Today's lesson?

Smile in the face of adversity
Laugh in the face of absurdity
Love in the face of obscurity
Live in the face of doubt
Grow in the face of fear.

That's all...

These truths I hold self evident
That without growth
all that is left
is death.

~*~ Sinn ~*~
Blog 191: Forget going back to the future... the future is now.
Yesterday I listened to my mom complain for the umpteenth time about problems she is having with the systemic politics of the greater church, her frustrations over the ordination process and having given up so much of her children's lives for a dream that now seems deferred. This isn't the first time... I hear it on almost a weekly, oft daily basis. For the first time, I had to get tough and give her "the talk." Its not easy being the child and having to give a lecture to your parents... but I felt it was necessary. Over the last year each time my mom has told me of her miscellaneous frustrations with her varied churches, I've told her that perhaps ministering is not really her calling. Difficult... as she really, truly feels that it is. I always listen - like a dutiful daughter should... but this was the first time I felt compelled to really speak out.

I love my mom, dearly. But sometimes, her emotionally extremist behavior is draining. Listening to her "woo is me" conversations become draining... Today, it was all her hard work and the years of seperation from her family while she attended seminary was for nothing. Once again, I expressed that maybe this was not quite her calling. Her anger, mimicking her frustration, was more than I could bear. Instead of making an excuse to get off the phone, I gave her a piece of advice that myLove gave me recently.

Everything in life happens for a season and a reason... But seasons change inevitably. Life moves from one chapter to the next... and often, out of fear, we don't want to turn the page or accept that the season we love the most has come and gone. Sometimes... God alters our path by removing people or changing circumstances in our lives because he sees something down the line that we don't see. In our instances to maintain familiarity, we fight and sometimes block the blessings that may be coming - or insight the very things that he may be preventing for us. Yes, we have choice, but we can not see the outcome to our every action. In fighting change, we not only block the positive things that may come to us later if we just go with the flow. In life, we can't always see the potential outcome of the things that contradict our preferred path. All we see are the things we won't have in going off course... we forget that there is a higher power that ultimately knows and sees all.

Often, we can only focus on the grief for our loss of control when things change. We never see the end of the rainbow, as all we can see is what we consider a road block. We never realize that maybe, if we take this other path, if we start a new chapter, if we accept that summer turns to fall - that the bounty at the end of the rainbow might be bigger than before. I reminded my mother of lessons I learned as a child... to view the glass half full as opposed to half empty. I reminded her that perhaps, these changes in her life is allowing her to renew relationships strained by this commitment during a time when she is really needed by her faily. That maybe, just maybe, this change is preparing her for a future that she can't see yet... because she is so caught up in her own wants and desires. That perhaps she is blocking her blessings...

I used my own long term grief over the last decade along with my (thankfully) failed teen marriage as examples. I expressed how I have learned to be greatful for every experience in my life as each one brings a renewed sense of self. Having accepted the failures of life has taught me who I am, what I hope to achieve, what I am willing to accept in my life, what I look for and don't want in a partner... Each chapter bring growth...

The irony of this conversation with my mother is that today my 9 year old and I saw a movie were the idea of learning from your mistakes and the concept of "Keep Moving Forward" was a steady theme. Disney's Meet The Robinsons was not really about fighting the status quo and people that create stress on the job or in your personal relationships.. it was about following your dreams and "moving forward" despite failure. The movie was amazing... and stressed that diligence is the key to success. While the 3D version of the movie was really just mindless entertainment for my daughter and I, it did spark a memory that all too often as humans, we are quick to refuse change - as well as quick to blame others for the outcomes in our life we don't like. Its natural to fear the unknown - but in resisting the natual progression of life, we may be limiting our life itself.

Change is good...

Today after a great movie and a couple of coco trio's from Seattle's Best, My little one and I went training bra shopping at Old Navy. She picked out comic books at Border's.

Change is scary...

We discussed her group grief counseling sessions at school... how tough it is to be 9 years old and some of the things that she didn't think anyone would understand. Her love for her Paw-paw and the rest of her family... and yet her not being sure where she fits in anymore.

Change is exciting...

I was thrilled when I got thrashed by my little baby girl in a rousing game of scrabble tonight.. She beat me viciously... with both a triple letter and triple word score totaling 81 points for the word "jail."

The bottom line, change is hard - whether you just turned 55 or whether you are the tender age of 9. The only thing you can really do is remember that change is as inevitable as the changing seasons, death and taxes. Take a risk, go with the flow and hope for the best... you never know what treasures might await you if you do. :)
Blog 189: Behind the Poetry - On Being Cat or Mouse
So I've been writing this series lately called Cat and Mouse and realized that I posted them without preface. I thought it might help to explain the story behind the poetry. There is a guy... I think he's kinda hot, he thinks I'm kinda fly.. and we enjoy one another's company. He's the kind of guy that were we both single I'd probably smash on a regular. But alas, He's not, I'm definitely not.. so we're chilling.

A few months ago a friend and I were discussing the situation and I said that it was good... but not great when I was with him... Then the next day, he called in the middle of the day, stopped by my place instead of my coming to his hotel and we hung out... I can't say whether he could tell that he really needed to put it on me or whether it was being someplace more intimate or the fact that it was a mid-day rendezvous... but at one point I confused him with my man and called him by His pet name... He'd been trying since day one to get me to call him that, and for a brief moment, I felt like I was with myLove and responded as such.

My body betrayed me and gave me up... he reveled in it I could tell. When he fell asleep in my bed with his arms wrapped around me I knew it was over... I was so wound up I was bouncing off the walls. I couldn't stop smiling. This motherfucker figured out how to make me want him. Fuck!

I went on to give him a massage and later caught a glimpse of him sitting on the edge of my bed with his head in his hands. Comfortable. I tend to do that...

A few hours later he rang to tell me that he had left his chain on my dresser. I chuckled, thinking it wasn't that big or heavy to have taken it off in the first place. We agreed to meet later... To this day it is still sitting in my jewelry box.

Last week, I knew he was in town for a show. I called him for tickets for myself and my girls but found a message saying he was having problems with his phone. Later in the evening, I found myself catching myself... thinking that if I continued I'd come off as either stalker or groupie.. of which I am neither. So I stepped back, decided that there was no way in hell I was purchasing a ticket to see him.. and settled in with a glass of wine. Sunday night, I checked my messages and realized that he had left me a message that night - saying he had me added to his guest list. :)

Damn, I fucked up with that one. Lol!

I gave him a call, letting him know that I had received his message 2 days late and would love to see him the following day when he'd return to town. I then went back to my day and tried to forget that he was even arriving. Reveling in the thrill of the chase, I felt justified in hiding my true desire. After all, I'd met him a long time ago before he became, famous, and back then - HE was a fan.

Monday came and I remembered that my little one would be coming home from spring break that night making seeing him impossible. I left a message. Then while forwarding emails for bookings to my agent and fielding calls for an upcoming trip to NY, I receive a call from an unfamiliar number. Thinking it was business I answered as professionally as always.

"Hello can I help you?"

"Hey Sinn."

I smiled... Wow.


"So.. I put you plus one on the guest list for tonight. So I'll see you tonight."

I chuckled. Confidence is sexy. Even when its misguided.

"You must not have gotten my message."

"No, I didn't. What did you say?"

"I am picking up my baby from the airport at 8:45 tonight. There is no way I will make it to your show."

"Oh. I see. Well, I should be going back to [the hotel] for a little bit before the show tonight. Maybe we can see each other then?"

"I'd love to see you."

"Well, can you do me a favor?"

"What's that?"

"Can you leave that chain at the front desk at [the hotel] for me?"

"Well, if I am going to see you later, I'll just bring it then..."

"Ok baby. That sounds good."

"Call me later?


This smile broke out from ear to ear when I hung up. I shook my head. I am so very bad... I love flirting, but there is no way in hell I'm going to see him tonight. I made myself focus. Went back to work. While in the shower I found myself feeling poetic. Lines started flowing out of my head...

"If you show me your mind
I'll you show you mine..."

I dressed and sat down to write before meeting my angel baby at the airport. The words were so easy because they were real. He wouldn't be the first to touch me, nor would he be the last. When he hit the stage, I was standing at gate 37B watching my little one run off the plane. The duality of my life amazes even me sometimes.

"What do you want to eat?"
"How about some salmon?"

I've spoiled her. Only my 9 year old would ask for salmon instead of fast food when getting off a cross country flight.


We stopped off at The Standard Hotel. Mustard Crusted Salmon with baby brocolli and procini jus and pineapple juice for her, a pomegrante martini for mommy. I needed a drink...

We giggled as girls do, she told me about her flight and we made plans for the rest of her holiday. A "to-go" box later and she and I were on our way home. I tucked her into bed, gave her a good night kiss and went back to work for a bit.

I called him around 2am, thinking he'd be on his way to his hotel. I left a message, "It was lovely talking to you today. Sooner or later we'll meet again."

That's all it took. I was recharged. Reset. I spoke to myLove, cleaned the kitchen re-read my poetry. Sleep was restless as I dreamt of my rock star days and the men that everyone else loves that love me most.

"Baby I'm a Star" Humming in my dreams with visions of Prince on stage.

~*~ Sinn ~*~
Blog 190: Recipe for Love
Its been awhile since I posted a recipe... this one is really good, easy and tastes fab. Not to mention that it is only 233 calories per serving! ;-) If you like Indian Food, this is a good recipe. I like my food a little spicier - so I use a little more curry powder. Definitely season to taste.

Bon Appetit!

Chicken Apple Curry with Brown Rice and salad

Chicken Apple Curry

1/4 tsp. curry powder
1/2 small apple
1/4 cup apple juice
3 1/2 oz. boneless chicken breast
1 green onion
2 oz. fresh mushrooms
1/2 tbsp. fresh lemon juice
1/4 cup low fat, plain or sugar-free yogurt

Wipe mushrooms with a damp paper towel and slice thin. Rinse and pat dry chicken breast; cut into cubes on a separate cutting board. Peel, core and dice apple and chop green onion. Spray a nonstick skillet lightly with cooking spray and sauté chicken until no longer pink, about 8 to 10 minutes. Add the apple, onion, mushrooms, lemon juice, curry powder and apple juice and bring to a boil. Lower heat; simmer for abut 8 minutes; stir in yogurt and gently heat through, about 2-3 minutes. Serve over rice.

Simple Salad:
2 cups mixed salad greens
2 tbsp. salad dressing, low fat or nonfat; low sodium

Brown Rice:
2 tbsp. brown rice
or 1 bag Instant Brown Rice (prepare as outlined on the box.)

Place rice in a small pot with tight-fitting lid and cover with about 2 1/2 times the amount of water (for example if you're cooking 4 tablespoons of rice, use 10 tablespoons of water...about 3/4 cup water). Bring to a boil, uncovered, on high heat; reduce heat to low, cover tightly and cook for about 40-45 minutes, or until water is absorbed and rice is tender.

1/2 cup fresh strawberries (sliced and quartered)
Serve chilled as dessert.
Blog 188: Cat and Mouse 2
I had
grabbed hold
of these nuts I carry
that I'm really the man.
That control is what I had.
That although I dig
the words you spit
That though you're hot
And others want what you got
I'm no groupie.
Have you seen me?

I hate to call it
Baby, I'm a Star.

I was cool...
Collected my thoughts like words on a pad
No longer wondering if you had
time for me.
Remembering that you are
just a guy
I met at my boy's crib
back in Brooklyn
a few years ago.
tv and radio and soundscan
or chicks on the block had heard of you...
With a blunt between your lips
Who stared at my hips
as I walked by.
You were just this
fly guy
that I wanted to get to know better
than the friend that introduced us.
My weakness for Brooklyn boys had just begun
And you were the epitome.
Rugged with a pinch of street...
Intellectually deep
With a true love of your people.

I had
shaken off this new found
caused by dick-whippedness
and remembered that you knew me
when I was just saying hello
Had just gathered my senses
shaken off the madness
And fallen out of the daze...

But then you called...
And the record skipped
in my chest
Letting me know its not over yet.
That you commanded my smile
Like a DJ going wild
on the 1s and 2s
you played me.
Butterflies beat against my belly
Trying to escape
But it was too late...
Wound like an old victrola
or a slinky down the stairs
I wouldn't dare
Admit that you got me

So for now I'm going to
pack up my toys
and pick up the phone
and dial the next cat...
so he can fawn over me
and refresh my memory
On just how fly I am...
So I can stop acting like
you did something so special
to open my nose.
I'm going to
slow down...
before you descend the stage
and shake me off this pedestal
where I stand.

I know you're the man.
But damn...

Normally this is where I exit
stage left it
disinegrate in the atmosphere
never to be heard from again
But the fun has just started
so I'll stick around
a little longer.
But one word of warning
one day you'll call
and the number be changed.
Just know now
Its my way
of gracefully leaving
when my heart starts confusing
this for the real thing.

~*~ Sinny ~*~
Blog 187: Cat and Mouse
I was really hoping...
But you haven't...
And I'm starting to feel a bit crackish...
so I'm going to try
to be patient
and see if you make time.

Damn. How'd that happen?
It was just one night
that made all the difference
in my desire.

I was cool until...
I stepped outside myself
And called you out your name.
That night...
In my bed I lay
Did I really say that?
Don't laugh
I always say
I'm just a girl.
Although I front
Like I'm all grown up
And I act like I have
A 3rd leg between mine
Treating men
like tools
borrowing them
for a few
But I guess...
You really put it on me.
Now I must confess
I'm feeling...
To feel that
Tell me...
Can we still be friends
If I can't get you out my head?
The way you made me lust
I trust
You won't tell a soul
After all...
I have a reputation to uphold.


~*~ Sinny ~*~
Blog 186: Deviant David
Be sure to check out David Christopher's review of the scene I shot for his website, on his blog here on MySpace! I'll forgive him for misspelling my name... maybe. :)

Blog 185: Stem Cells & The Cloning of Sinn
Yes its true... I need a clone.

Seriously.. Anyone know how to get my stem cells?

Kinda desperate here.

I'm wondering how that would work...

Would we put them in a petri dish?

Grow them?

Would my clone start as an infant?

Would we have to wait 33 years for her to be the me I am today?

Or could I extend my life, (and career,) by making her start doing porn at 19 like I did?

Hmm... What a thought...

But then again, would I feel maternal to a newborn cloned Sinn and not want her to take the same paths?

Would she have her own mind? Thoughts? Feelings? Devotions? Desires? Plans?

Or would she be devoid of independent thought and merely be a shell by which I can use for whatever retarded notions and duties I have for her?

So I'm at the airport in Long Beach wireless.

Supposed to be in Boston this a.m. - but instead I'm just flying out.

Its cool though.. I packed rather lovely. Neat. Organized.

I actually went to 2 banks, booked an airline ticket, hotel, did 2 loads of laundry, (wait... there are clothes in the washer. Damn.) Didn't have time to load the dishwasher, (God knows I hate coming home to a dirty house. Ugh!) Booked appointments for my Boston trip, screened calls, spoke to my agent, called my mom, my sister twice, myLove, stopped at the post office, went to Victoria's Secret, and managed to get to the airport 20 minutes prior to my 1 hour check in.

Since being here I've picked up a salad & a slice of german chocolate cake for the plane ride from this little stand... have drank a bottle of Dasani with lemon ice Crystal Light in it, and am typing away on my laptop until I board.

Damn, I'm good.

But I still need a clone.

I'll fly home on Thursday morning, do the hilarious Jose Luis Show (The Spanish Version of Jerry Springer,) for Telemundo on Thursday afternoon, attend Domcon parties Thursday night, Attend Domcon Friday during the day, Host Thurst for Bruce Bruce at Club Aura Friday night, Attend Talib Kweli's concert at House of Blues Friday night... Shoot for Exquisite (Diana Devoe directing,) Saturday day, attend Domcon events, Saturday night, Sunday day.. then fly out Sunday night for NYC.

Oh wait... Did I mention that I received an email through OMP (one of the model booking sites I use,) from Mistress Natali Demore regarding shooting for her site this weekend during Domcon as well?

*Note to self... ask Xavier to contact her while I'm away tomorrow so it can get on the calendar.

Yeah... My life is HECTIC.

And I need a clone. :)

You gotta take it when you can get it.

In this business its either feast of famine.

You gotta work when its there.

I'm the Queen of Multi-tasking though. I picked up Easter cards today that I will sign and address on the flight, and will cat nap so I can be bright eyed and bushy tailed for my day tomorrow.

Thank god for non-stop flights.

And sleep eye masks.

And hotels with gyms.

Yeah... I'm still planning to work out in the morning.

Oh yeah!

Imagine... if I only had a RedBull right now! HAHAHAHA!

Or if I had a clone

Or two,

Or three...

I'd be vicious.


*Presses send so I can board.*

love is... Me.
Blog 184: Focus and Intent
Not that its been that exciting or anything...

I spent most of the week editing photos, going through emails, forwarding booking inquiries to my agent and planning 2 sort trips to Boston & NYC for the next two weeks. I have a clothing designer that wants to shoot me for his line during my trip... so hopefully we will be able to work out my rate for the gig and get it on the calendar.

I started The Master Cleanse on Tuesday night to help rid my body of all the environmental aand dietary toxins that are keeping me ill. The cleanse always helps me feel amazing... not to mention residue weight loss. .. I started the week at 140 lbs, (mostly water retention from my period,) and today I am 132 lbs. .. Woohoo! I decided to start keeping a handwritten journal for the cleanse instead of doing in online. I feel that it shows intention on my part. Each night while I drink the tea that coincides with the cleanse, I leave my computer, write my entry for the day - focusing exclusively on how much lemonade I drank, how my body is reacting to the cleanse physically, emotionally, mentally... Whether I have energy, what aches and pains I'm experiencing, and how I am doing with the mental and emotional addiction to food.

The cleanse is over 50 years old and was created by Stanley Burroughs. Its not a reducing diet (for weight loss,) but it is one of the side effects. The cleanse/ fast is for 10 days. I'm currently on day 3. I have lots of energy, and am going to the gym each day. I'm planning to go to yoga tonight as well.

My diet for the duration of the cleanse goes like this:

* each night, 1 cup of Smooth Move laxative tea
* throughout the day, drink a lemonade mixture made of:
  • 2 tbsp of fresh squeezed lemon juice
  • 2 tbsp of organic, grade b, dark amber maple syrup
  • 1/10 tsp cayenne pepper
  • 8 oz of warm - hot water

Throughout the day I drink between 8-12 glasses of lemonade, which both keeps my stomach full and gives me enough energy to move through the day as normal. As a treat, I will sometimes allow myself a cup of mint tea... but so far this time around, I haven't had the desire for anything more than the lemonade. For the science behind the cleanse, check out The Master Cleanser on Amazon or at your local bookstore.

I am feeling pretty damn good today... The cleanse is a part of a bigger process for me. I need to get back into optimal shape anyway from surgery and all the overindulging I did while back home over my father's illness and death. I need to get back to focus. .. I am making sure that I hit the stationary bike at least 20-30 minutes each day. I can't hit the treadmill or ellipticals right now because of my knee - I dislocated my knees in high school from track, figure skating competitively and gymnastics. I gotta start taking Glucosamine w/ Chondrotin once my fast has ended. (It helps to rebuild cartiledge in joints.) I am also doing a minimum 40 minute workout with balance balls and medicine balls... along with reverse bends to strengthen my back and shoulders. I'm knocking out 100 crunches a day. I'm being really good.. my body is shaping up the way I deserve. I just have to maintain diligence.

Last night I also cracked open this Rembrandt teeth whitening professional treatment kit I purchased earlier in the week. Twice daily for 7 seven days. Let's see if it works! ..

In addition to that, I am using Hylexin an under eye cream for dark circles, and am back to using Strivectin SD for my stretch marks on my thighs and stomach. Last week I started using Curad Scar Therapy (tm) Cosmetic Pads to try to reduce the visibility of the absominal incision from my surgery last fall. It claims to dramatically reduce the appearance of scars over 8 weeks. I am considering growing my pubic hair higher... since I actually do keep a small bush, growing it a half millimeter higher wouldn't kill me and would hide the incision completely allowing me to no longer need to use makeup to hide the scar. Its minor, but it annoys me so I want to get rid of it. I am on this hardcore mission to be in tip top shape in time for my appearance in Tristan Taromino's Chemistry 4 for Vivid Video in late May! ..

I was fortunate that earlier in the week I had a visit from my girlfriend Mistress Delilah from NYC. She stopped by with 2 of her slaves. The boys cleaned my apartment while Delilah helped me with laundry. I am going through my closet seperating everything I haven't worn in over a month. I have SO much stuff that I never wear and need to get rid of it all. Right now... there are so many clothes all over my sofa.. but my intent is to get rid of all the junk and organize my space so I have less clutter. Its a tall order... but with focus anything is possible.

I have some personal issues that I am focusing on right now, and trying to find the right person to handle this is a priority. By concentrating on the things I can control on my own, like my space, my health, my appearance... everything seems so much more plausible. I'm off to make calls and hit the pool for a little sun before it gets too late. I think I might want to use that whitening tray before it gets too late today. Gotta plot a time so I can get it in twice a day. :-)

~*~ Sinny ~*~
Blog 183: I have no fancy title for this blog...
I guess my last real blog was about the Amy Winehouse concert.. I've been slightly crazed since then and haven't had time to actually blog the way I'd like. I'd love to give you an in depth look into my life as usual... but today is just one of those days and its so not going to happen. I'll try to stay up to par however...

Last Thursday, March 22, I shot for Metro/ VideoTeam. 12 noon call time... The director Keith was fantastic as always to work with. He had the day catered, his PM was awesome.. in fact.. I think I'm going to hire him for my future shoots for my website. The scene was for a brnad new line called "Chocolate MILFs." Lol! When I arrived Naomi Banxx was going into her scene.. and as I was going into mine, old school favorite Monique had just arrived. It was really good to see Monique. She has taken the last few years off from doing scenes and focusing mostly on her website... but has recently signed with Clear Talent Management and is excited to tackle the scene again.

My scene was with Deep Threat, he's a solid performer but unfortunately didn't bring enough energy for me. We were totally mismatched I believe... or maybe he was just having a day... but he's not really my type.. all the tattoos and the constant, "This is that thug passion baby. This is how thugs do it..." was a serious turn off for me. I have had some TRUE thugs in my life.. but they never had to tell me that they were one. Maybe it was just his way of vocalizing for the camera... I dunno. I have to remind myself that its just work so I shouldn't care so much. But its important to me that there is chemistry between myself and the guy I'm fucking... even on camera. :-)

Friday I spent the day running around like crazy attending to a personal issue that tok me back and forth across the city from the beach to Downtown to East L.A.... then finally back Downtown to grab clothes and make it to the L.A. Convention Center to get to Adultcon. I was in a foul mood, frustrated, irritated and not really in the mood to deal with fans or anyone for that matter... but after having a salad and a cup of hot tea on the show floor in between signing and taking pictures I pulled it together. Terry, myself and two LHT employees stopped off at The Standard Hotel Downtown for dinner and drinks before calling it a night... My neighborhood diner helped improve my mood with a surprise pick me up... a new addition to the menu, a pomegrante martini. It was insanely fabulous! I relaxed, full and slept like a baby.

The rest of the weekend was a lot better... The show was crazy on Saturday with a line going around the block by the time I arrived at 1pm. I was prepared with my laptop to play movies all day. I sold out of all my merch by 6pm... only had a 1 title left... my newest Seymore Butts' release, America's Got Ass left to sell. Unfortunately, it wouldn't play in my computer... so with 2 white chicks on the cover, guys didn't realize I was in the movie.

Sunday I sold most of the AGA titles signed a bunch more pics, sold some magazines and took pics with lots of fans. This year's show was much more profitable than previous shows as management made sure to have girls sign model contracts agreeing to a minimum price point for all merch. This allowed us to actually make a decent amount of money for the weekend.

I learned a few important lessons that I will take with me into future shows:

  • I need to create and inventory sheet specifically for the show so I can keep track of how much of what items are sold each day... this way I can better decide what to buy for future shows.

  • I noticed that my Black-on-Black product sold tremendously better than my Interracial product... and there was only 1 guy that inquired about non-anal movies as he despised them. This reminds me to bring more of a variety of titles to shows.

  • Hmmm... I will probably also bring a bunch of disposible cameras to sell as well for the next show for those that run out of film. :)

  • I need giveaways... like new flyers & business cards for the website.

  • Now that I have an agent, I need to make new business cards with my agent's contact info on it for people that approach at shows about shooting me. I'm so used to handling my own business affairs that my old cards with my business contact are completely obsolete now.

  • I need to make sure to bring a DVD player with a large screen or a small TV w/ built in DVD player to play movies AND have my laptop for on the spot website membership signups.

  • Speaking of which... I need to consider discussing with my webmaster running show specials for signups with a special code or something... Hmm...

  • How do I ALWAYS forget to bring a cash box? Point taken. Lesson Learned. :)

  • I need an assistant.. In life. And in Business. Especially at conventions. My life will be SO much easier.

Other than that I just need to start decided whether I want to risk getting my own booth for Erotica LA and Adultcon or will I have my agent focus on having me sign for someone else. The expense of these shows often makes it not worth models/ performers to have their own booths. I really do like meeting the fans... but I just need to make sure these things are always profitable as well.

Moving on... Sunday afternoon, my good friend Mr. Len showed up at the convention center. I swear we speak everyday but haven't physically seen one another in years. I had a ticket waiting for him at Will Call, and he returned the favor by playing bodyguard throughout the show. I managed to pick up a present for my other half from the VCX booth, a digitally remastered copy of The Devil in Miss Jones on DVD - his favorite movie. :-) I grabbed a second copy for myself as I've never seen it before. I also managed to stop by this condom booth for 4 boxes of Female Condoms and discussed the possibility of designing glass toys with another company. I want to design toys! I never realized that before! ;-)

After the show, I stopped by Steen's pad to pull wardrobe for my shot the following morning. I borrowed some GORGEOUS pieces including boots, shoes, corsets, lingerie and vintage stockings. Monday morning, I left for Woodland Hills to shoot with Pussyman David Christopher for his new series Deviant David #9 and his website, What was supposed to be a FemDom, content trade shoot turned into something so much more... Lot of face sitting, smothering, verbal humiliation, degradation, boot worship and in the end... my covering David with a face and mouth full of female "champagne." I was so exicted by the golden shower I drenched him with... that my imaginary cock got rock hard. ;-)

Today, I woke up miserable. I have been sick since I went to UCSB to speak to that Sociology class. It started with allergies and has just kept getting worse. Its gotten to the point that I'm forever walking around like I'm at 30,000 feet. When I blow my nose, my ears will pop, then I blow it again, and my ears will fill up again. And yesterday...? The sinus cavities in my eyes filled up with air... Its so disgusting. Not to mention I've developed this nasty cough. So I decided that enough was enough... and went to AIM to see Dr. Patrik. He looked in my ears and said that my ears were filled up with fluid. He also said that my throat was red but that luckily the crap in my head hadn't dropped to my lungs... He prescribed me a cough syrup with codeine and gave me an antibiotic... just in case. He also told me to pick up some Sudafed from the drug store. Mission accomplished.

To make things worse... I started cramping really, really bad today. Ugh! I knew it was coming. I have had a chocolate craving for the last 2 days. *Sigh* Being a girl is tough!

*Sidebar* Has anyone else noticed that drug stores have all the crap you don't need in the front of the store and the stuff you really need in the back corner?? Seriously! All the cosmetics and fragrances and stuff are right there in your face when you walk through the door. Then the stuff like toilet paper and milk are in far back corner.... It makes you wind up spending a retarded amount of money on stuff you don't need! Its a conspiracy I tell you!!

Anywho... Feeling a little loopy. I'm tired, cramping and ready for bed. I did manage to approve 30 pages of friend requests last night... I don't think I will get to any tonight.

Manana is another day...
Blog 182: Why You Haven't Been Added!!!

For all of those of you that have been emailing me about why you haven't been added yet... please stop! I have been swammped with work and have barely had time to blog and approve comments.. and friend requests are just going to have to wait. I know it sounds crazy.. but I will get to it as soon as possible. I swear!

~*~ Sinny ~*~
Blog 181: Public Service Announcement: Change Your Password!
This is getting F'ing RIDICULOUS!

I just deleted 15 pages of spam this morning from ringtones to giftcards to pills for your junk. IF YOUR PAGE IS SENDING OUT SPAM TO YOUR FRIENDS.... CHANGE YOUR PASSWORD! Basically it means you fell for some phishing scam and entered your username and password into some page other than myspace's true log in page and you got caught up. Nothing to be ashamed of... but look, you're not going to get that iPhone, $1000 gift card from Ikea or VS and those pills? They don't work! So do me, and everyone else a favor and change your ish...

Got it? Good.


Let's all keep MySpace clean from spam... You don't like it in your mail box right? :)

~*~ Sinny *~
Blog 180: Love May Be Blind But Its Damn Sure Not Tone Deaf

Amy Winehouse @ The Roxy Theater, West Hollywood, CA
March 19, 2007
Photo Swipe Courtesy of Kase from OKP

Sunday night Nadia and I went to see DJ Dimples and friend spin at The Forge in Miami... just a few blocks from my hotel. We never made it to Prive, Nadia and I were both burnt and required food.. so we grabbed a table, had dinner, listened to some good music and chatted away. We excused ourselves early and went back to my room. Nadia crashed while I packed, checked email, surfed the web and chatting with friends. At 5:30am we left the hotel and headed to the Ft. Lauderdale airport. I checked in easily.. but the security line went down the length of a corridor, around a bend and back down the otherside.. I reached my gate barely in time for my schedule departure time. I was able to grab a beakfast plate and tomato juice from this Italian restaurant next to my gate before boarding. I was smashed in a middle seat again, but this time it was an exit row. The woman on one side of me was sleeping with her headphones on and the guy on the other side was sleeping against the window.. so once I slipped my eye mask over my eyes I was good to go.

But sleep never comes easily...

I arrived home at 9:45am, collected my luggage and made my way home. I'll admit, it was a little depressing leaving the clear blue skies and 75-80 degrees of South Beach and arriving in (Sunny) Southern California to 65 degrees and gloomy weather. I love L.A., but the weather here has sucked lately. Big Time. ..

I spent most of my day getting caught up on email and editing images from my last shoot. Around 3pm, I received an email from UK Super Producer saying that he'd spoken to Amy (Winehouse,) and her manager Raye and that he was able to secure tickets for me for the night's show at The Roxy. I smiled.. Damn. Hell Yeah! I started calling friends to see who wanted to attend with me. I had already mentioned to a few close friends that I was trying to get tickets for the sold out show.. so it was just a matter of who would answer first.

My girlfriend Alina, formerly Lana Sands, picked up right away and was elated to join me. I took a cat nap, woke up, quickly showered, dressed and did my hair. I pulled on my favorite People For Peace jeans, a red sweater and accented it with a black leather belt. I decided not to do heavy makeup... but something a little simplier. Just mascara, lip gloss and powder. I looked cute enough. :)

We arrived at the club at 9:25. Parking was hell. I grab our tickets from Will Call, thrilled to be able to say "I'm on Amy's list," to the girl at the window. Alina and I walked into the club and the opening act, Chris Stills was on the stage with his band. We headed to the bar, Bombay Sapphire and Cranberry with lime for me. We walked over to VIP, stepped inside for a bit then over towards the stage door. I wanted to try to meet Raye, Amy's manager, at the suggestion of Mark to get an interview with Amy. Of course, security didn't know who I was talking about.. :rollseyes:

We settled into the middle of the crowd for a good spot once the crowd started to shift for the short intermission before Miss Winehouse came on stage. While we waited, I received a call on my cell...

"Hey, Where are you?"

It was myLove.

"I'm at The Roxy, where are you?"

"I'm outside, I need a ticket."

"FUCK! Baby I gave Alina my ticket. Let me see what I can do..."

I headed to the door. He rang again...

"I got it. I'm coming in."

I went to the lobby area of the club and waited for him to walk through the door. His tall frame just looked so damn good walking through the door. He saw me, greeted me, smiled, and reached down to hug me... "Baby, You look great." :) We never get to go out together. We are both "event" types. Only going out when work or business requires it. With our travel schedules, we relish the time we get to spend alone and going out isn't really a priority.

He led me to the VIP, and aas we walked towards the back of the area.. he saw this guy kiss a young woman. He stopped dead in his tracks and said, "That's not how you're supposed to do it, you're supposed to do it like this.." And with that, he gently brushed his hand against my cheek, held it there, and kissed my lips. The girl looked at me, the guy looked at him... and he and I just laughed. We continued towards the back of the VIP and he stopped to talk with Randy Jackson while I got into a conversation with these wonderfully British people.

"Is he your boyfriend?"

"No, He's not my boyfriend, he's my air."

"Oh how sweet!"

I smiled.. I love explaining our relationship that way.

It was so crowded, we decided to move towards the bar. While he was chatting away with someone, Justin Chambers of Grey's Anatomy walked right by me and said hello. Umm... If I was into White boys.. :) We found a spot against a wall where he could stand without blocking the view of others and I could stand on a step and get a good view of the stage. I tried texting Alina. She called me.. After a few attempts, I gave up. We got into a jovial conversation with group of people nearby, and when he went to the bar to get drinks for us, he offered them something as well. When he returned, Amy was on stage and the show had just started. I glanced at him... he is beautiful.

The chanteuse walked out on stage with a plastic cup in her hand to the beat of an old, 60s Shangri-la tune, He's So Fine. That set the mood for the night. She opened up with Addicted... I whispered in myLove's ear... "Its got me addicted, more than any dick did..." He laughed. Throughout the first song, the top of her dress was moving all over the place, and she almost had a major wardrobe malfunction that would have revealed her breasts to the audience. But Amy just kept singing... adjusting herself the whole time until she was safely back inside the rop of her blue dress. She then moved into Just Friends, Cherry, Back to Black.. I was so wet... myLove was standing there, just as excited as I was. He bent over to whisper, "Thank you" in my ear.

"No, Thank you."

Amy then did her version of Doo Wop (that thing,) the Lauryn Hill cover followed by Wake Up Alone. I gained a new respect for Tears Dry On Their Own after hearing it live... She then belted out He Can On;y Hold Her then began explaiining to the audience about how when she was with her boyfriend, she told him, she didn't know whay he was mad that she drinks, she goes out, etc... because she told him already she was no good. The crowd went wild.. We laughed... then she moved into the number You Know I'm No Good. She gave up Love is a Losing Game before telling the audience that was it for her. The she laughed and winked at the audience, "Yeah, I've never teased like that before. I've never done that before." She then sang Me & Mr. Jones... And I swear, somewhere in there she did the cover 'Round Midnight.

He and I slipped outside for him to smoke a cigar after the band left the stage... knowing that she'd come back for a encore.. but standing outside the door I heard her start The Zutons "Valerie" and clasped my hand over my mouth.


He smiled, "Go ahead baby... Go inside."

"No, No... its okay."

She finaled with Rehab then the crowd started heading out the door. He took some photos, we both entered into conversations with different people, we said goodbye to Alina, then went back into the club. Her bodyguard was supposed to introduce us... I was trying to get to talk to her manager so we could arrange an interview. I finally met Raye, spoke to both her background singers... then decided the women's bathroom was too far.. so I went into the men's restroom to go pee. :)

We left without meeting Miss Winehouse, but it probably would have ruined the night.. We first drove into the hills to park and look out at the city. The cloudy skies prevented us from having the normally phenomenal view... but it was amazing all the same.

I looked at him and said, "I have to suck your dick."


He unzipped his pants and pulled his large member out for me. I kneeled in my seat then leaned over the large divider in between the seats. For the next 20 minutes, I inhaled him... He ran his fingers through my hair. After awhile, I sat up, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, looked at him then went back to my task. He tasted... delicious. When I came to, he readjusted himself, I refastened my seatbelt and we drove down sunset towards the freeway. Once back at my place, he parked and we headed upstairs. I warned him... the place was a wreck. Recent travel meant luggage and laundry everywhere.

He settled in on the sofa, I on the floor in between his legs. And so it began. I love the feel of him in my mouth. He puffed away on a cigar while I on his cigar...

"Come here, Sit on me."

I obeyed. His mere girth would be challenging to anyone else.. but it was made for me. I love the feel of being full, and only he can correctly provide that. I opened, accepted, and gave him everything I had. The moisture in between my legs grew and he began to moan to match my own. His hand touching my heart while we made love... He took my love as I willingly offered it up to him.

We took a little intermission and my phone rang.

"Hey there Sinnamon, what are you doing?"

The heavy French accent made me smile.

"Well hello there. I'm sitting here with myMan right now."

"Oh, oh.. you're there with your man."

"Yes. What are you up to?"

"Oh, I'm at Basque."

MyLove interrupted, "Tell him I said thank you for filling in when I wasn't able to be here."

I smirked then repeated the message.

"Oh, Tell him I said Thank you."

I relayed the message.

"Tell him, I've enjoyed watching him fuck you."

I repeated the message.

"Oh, he's seen us?"

"Of course!"

"Tell him one day we'll all have to get together."

I chuckled... I love the way he shuts other men down so they know exactly where they stand. I repeated the final message from myHeart and then excused myself to get back to what we were doing.

I laid next to him on the sofa and started licking his nipple then sucking his cock. Forever greedy, I sat ontop of him once more and showered him with my affection. He drove his member into me deep and long until I started shivering with delight and collapsed next to him. When we finished... I sucked ever drop of it up so as not to hit his belly..

I sat in shock. Amy Winehouse got me laid tonight.

He went to the bathroom to clean up.

"Damn baby. We went on a date."

"I know! We'll have to do that again."

He dressed, grabbed a Heinekin from the fridge and gave me a kiss.

"Thank you for tonight."

He smiled, "I got you."

"Yes you did. You do..."

"Thank you.

I stood in the door butt naked as he walked towards the elevator. He turned and smiled at me.

"I think I want to call Jean Claude back."

"Do that. Tell him he can come finish what I started."

I smiled, "Ok."

"It'll be better if you call so I can listen."

"I will."

I called JC and invited him over.

"I thought you were with your man tonight."

"I was... He had to leave to go home and said you should come finish what he started."

"Ok. I can do that."

I meant to shower before he got here, but I got caught up on OKP and before I knew it he was here. I put some clothes on then went down to get him from the garage. Once back upstairs, I got him an ashtray then excused myself to the shower. There was so much girlie juices in between my legs... Once my skin was thoroughly cleaned, I restarted my Amy playlist from the beginning and sat next to him. He started to kiss me... but I was in the mood for something else. He was being his normal agressive self complete with hair pulling so hard it felt like it was going to rip from my roots. He tried choking me... but I was more annoyed that anything else. After all, I had just been with myDaddy... I didn't need another one. But I played along... let him man-handle me and fucked him hard and deep. While bent over the sofa, I grabbed my cell phone and dialed myOther Half... letting his voicemail record us or his lisening pleasure. I released... but it was just that last little bit I needed so I could sleep well.

I think JC released as well.. I'm not really sure. I just know when I was done I was exhausted and ready to pass out. After he dressed, I put on a robe and jokingly, yet seriously, told him Thanks but it was time for him to go. Besides... my kitty was hurting. :)

Thank you Amy for getting my laid... I feel for all of you that didn't get to see her at Spaceland due to the last minute cancelation. You have no idea what you missed! Next time...

~*~ Sinny ~*~
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